Tourettes Karaoke Rick Astley's 'Never gonna give you up'

How to own the cards you were dealt.

Carter Update Since Johnny Isn't Posting Because He's An Indiefaggot

>April 6th my birthday
>April 9th my  sideways wisdom tooth taken out
>April 13th my gfs birthday
>Gf takes antibiotics
>No sex in the champagne room until the end of the month
> Mouth is in pain level 11/10
>I repeat No Vagina/Pain level 11/10
>Kill me now...wait no bring on the porn

...now kill me

My Birthday Is Tomorrow So Here Is Something I Laughed At Because I'm A Bad Person

 

Cora was hospitalized in 2009 after trying to break the world record for the number of fellatios performed in one day. She was trying for 200 men but was unable to pass 75.

Cora suffered a heart attack on 11 January 2011, during her breast enlargement surgery at a plastic surgery clinic in Hamburg. It was her sixth such operation. Minutes into the procedure, she went into cardiac arrest, causing her blood pressure to steadily drop, her organs to stop functioning, and sustained heavy brain damage as a result. She was moved to a local hospital and placed in a medically induced coma for a week due to her condition. Her husband Tim Wosnitza claimed that he was told by doctors that she would die due to the trauma to her brain, and was at her side for nine days until she died on 20 January 2011.

Police investigated the clinic for possible treatment errors. On 21 January, the two doctors who performed the surgery on Cora were charged with negligent manslaughter. A statement from the clinic said the doctors were "extremely upset and deeply regret the death of patient C.W." and that they are giving "full and complete support" to authorities investigating her death.

On 5 February 2013 the dpa news agency reported that a 56-year-old anesthesiologist had been convicted of involuntary manslaughter in the death of the German porn star. The Hamburg hospital doctor was given a 15-month suspended sentence for not ensuring that the actress had enough oxygen during the 2011 cosmetic surgery.

Cora was buried in a pink coffin at Ohlsdorf Cemetery on 2 February 2011. Following Cora's burial, controversy arose over the $15,000 memorial erected by her husband at the grave, with cemetery officials claiming it breached guidelines and demanding its removal

What's for breakfast?!? MSUD!

Maple syrup urine disease!!

Maple syrup urine disease (MSUD) is a metabolism disorder passed down through families in which the body cannot break down certain parts of proteins. Urine in persons with this condition can smell like maple syrup.
LAUGH MORE HERE

Enjoy your breakfast

Art Thou Not Entertained?

The Life & Times of V.Carter Vol.1:Typical Morning

Typical Morning of Douchebag Carter

Here's what I roll over and do every morning:

She says she hates it but she always wants me to massage her butt.

Then I always say " Hey babe wanna try anal today?"
 and she says:

So naturally, being that it's sex and I'm a man. I ask for it again.

"Baaaaaaaaby come oooonnnnn please just a little anal?!"

Then she gives me this face.

Which means:
"Alright, don't press your luck! We can have sex but no anal. Then I have to go to work. I have about an hour."

Let me just answer your questions really quickly:

1. 36 DDD
2. On top is just like in the gif minus the hat
3. All positions the view is awesome
4. I don't like skinny broads
5. Same hair
6. Same boob jiggle
7. Same leg length
8. Same ass size
9. Yes my girlfriend knows about Gianna and she's her favorite. OH SHIT I WONDER WHY!?!

"What!!?! You thought I just used Gianna because I like her?!? Come on man, I'm better than that!"

Here's two moments that my girlfriend doesn't understand why I enjoy:

Gf in the bathroom:

Gf trying on clothes:

Lastly, my friends and I don't work and our gfs do..So I'm going to post an extremely accurate depiction of our really long hectic day:

I'll see you guys next time for Vol.2!

*So accurate, that it made my girlfriend Taylor get a little pissed but she laughed at how real it was.*

Do you suck at music? Get your levels up

Ambient Essentials

bigger because ...

Carter's Best of 2012

People are impatient and I give up

so since everyone is butt hurt about my list coming out on scheduled days and cant wait, i found an easier way to do it so fuck off and all of that stuff

Best of 2012 Schedule...DEM RELEASE DATES NUGGAH!

BEST OF 2012

12/27

Best Pop: 

Best EP:

12/28

Best Dance: 

Best "Indie":

12/29

Best Trance Album: 

Best Experimental Album:

12/30

Best Rap:

Best Mixtape:

12/31 (released 11:59pm CST..yup, i'm that edgy...get mad)

Album Of The Year:

Carter Teh deadmau5 Album Sucks What Do I Do?

Purchase this...because its from this year and it will give you your deadmau5 fix.

Preview it here

Buy .it here...This is totally not a download link..lol no seriously...no seriously its not...stop looking at me like that...this isn't sarcasm...just link it already...see i told you its not...fucking idiot

Carter's Best of 2012 Teaser...

If you don't have any of these..your taste is shit.

The Game - Jesus Piece (Deluxe Edition)..Review

What? You wanna know how the Game ft Kanye ft Common I mean..GAME x KANYE x COMMON song is right? Well, Kanye only does a boring ass hook...there are you happy now? Common is stale and boring and hasn't sounded interesting since Be.

Now...let's move on: 

What we have here is a quick cash in of songs with feature after feature. He Rick Ross'd it, if you know what I mean. Unfortunately for new Game fans there's nothing really here..to make you go "OHHH WOW RAP ALBUM OF THE YEAR DUDES" It's the same old Game, doing the same old thing. Meek Mill does his thing. 2 chainz does his thing as do Ross, Jamie and etc etc...It's just boring and most of the rappers outshine Game on the tracks anyway. And do we really need to hear game talk about "deep" things? If you remember this "And I'll do anything but I won't fuck Mariah

Even if she had Ashanti butt naked in bed

cause she got a forehead just like Tyra"

You really won't be wow'd by anything on this album. Did you like R.E.D. more than Documentary? If so, then pick this up. If you like Documentary and then you're kinda "ehhh mehhh Game ehh" pass on this.

Feeling a ...oh wait a minute let's do stand out songs first.

Stand Out Song(s):

The Game ft 2 Chainz and Rick Ross - Ali Bomaye ...and the ending skit is funny because "LOL NIGGAS"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mVdhBSizYug

Rating:

Light 4/10

Generic Rap Album is Generic...Ok you can dick ride everything Kendrick Lamar does now...

Still Musically Better Than You Since Birth...

What's This In Your Headphones? Carter Is [not] Hip Hop!

Since I seem to be the only one working of a Best of 2012 music list I'm working on the genre of Rap first. Here's the few I'm listening to tonight: